Christmas Musings

Here I sit, basking in the glow of the Christmas tree lights on a quiet early morning. The kiddos are still abed, the Hero has left for work, and a bird is singing outside the window. It is 4 days until Christmas and as I enjoy my coffee and breathe a sigh of relief at having finished the Christmas shopping, I begin to muse…

I have a confession to make. Although we have bought & decorated a tree, made & bought & wrapped gifts, sung carols, read the Christmas story and watched the Nutcracker ballet, I do not feel “Christmas-y.” Yes, here I sit on December 20th with everything except Christmas Spirit. I’ve tried manufacturing the peace & joy of the season by going through all the normal motions of preparation and tradition but I still don’t feel it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Scrooge “bah humbugging” everything. I’m simply empty, hollow…perhaps even feeling dead inside. As though my heart needs a jolt from a Holy AED.

I don’t know that the feeling is altogether new or just related to Christmas, perhaps its been coming on for a while. Perhaps a dozen little factors have at last compiled and I’m feeling the effects. It hasn’t been a bad year…in fact, for the most part, its been great! Except for one thing. I’m soul-hungry. Somewhere in all that has gone on this year I stopped purposefully feeding my heart, nurturing the connection to the Life-giver and slowly my heart has slipped into unconsciousness, unresponsiveness.

In this (very) rare moment of quiet and solitude, I just want to sit and soak it in– the peace of this moment. I want it to permeate my soul, wash away all the shadows, turmoil, worries inside. But as a bubble bursts all too easily, I know– and perhaps even fear– that this feeling of peace will shatter as soon as small voices break the silence. The day will have to begin– meals & cleaning, conflict resolution & correction, Christmas preparations and everything else. (side note: my children are not the issue, they are merely the noise factor in this equation)

How does one hold to the peace of quiet, still solitude when surrounded by noise and activity…when unable to be physically still because the to-do list demands otherwise? How does one wake up a comatose heart and fill it with the wonder, joy, and peace of the celebration of Christmas– God’s gift of love beyond all we can imagine?

For me, today begins with a desperate 911 call to the Creator, Sustainor, Life-giver. The One who is Joy and Hope and Peace. The One who heals and revives hearts. The Babe in the manger, the Savior on the cross and the Father willing to sacrifice, to suffer so much out of love because He wants a relationship with us– with me.

In desperation to hear His voice, to feel revived, I begin to read…from scripture, from a devotional book. Suddenly, I am struck.

Revelation 3:1 I know your works, that you have a name that you are alive but you are dead.

“We live under Christ’s watchful eye. He isn’t looking to be sure we are busy, but to see that we are obedient to His Guiding Spirit. He watches not just to see what we are doing but looking at our hearts, also at why we are doing it” Henry & Richard Blackaby (emphasis mine)

1 Samuel 16:7 …for the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks on the outward appearance but the Lord looks on the heart.

It is always about the heart, isn’t it? What you do and how you do it are less important than the why…the heart attitude and motivation behind it.

And the musings take a bit of a turn…

What does this have to do with Christmas?

Christmas in our house is a busy season. I love to fill the calendar with special events and activities for my kiddos. We bake treats and decorate gingerbread, play with fake snow, make gifts and set up our Christmas village.  While I will admit that some of our past projects have been a little too ambitious, not a single one has been bad or sinful. But what about the heart? Why do all the activities, the crafts…because that is how Christmas is “done”? To impress others with my planning, organization, craftiness, and talented children? To win the Pinterest-mother-of-the-year award? Hmm…

What if…what if we just got back to the heart?

I’m coming back to the heart of worship,

And its all about You, all about You, Jesus,

I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it,

When its all about You, its all about You, Jesus.

What if our focus changed.  Forget the trappings of Christmas and just worship. Worship with all of our hearts a Savior willing to sacrifice everything out of love for us. Could we maybe get less caught up in perfect decorations, stunning party food, and blow-their-socks-off presents and instead got caught up in the overwhelming realization of the depth of God’s love for us?

I can’t speak for anyone else but I know that this is a season that gets busy, overscheduled, stressful and tiring no matter how much I hope and plan to make it otherwise.  And it is so very easy to miss Christ in Christmas. No matter how many times we parrot “Jesus is the reason for the season!” The words become part of the routine, the habit, what we do not the why behind it.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like we all are in preparation for the biggest party of the year. Months of preparation and planning. Countless hours on Pinterest choosing just the right DIY tablescape.  Multiple shopping trips looking for just. the. right. gift. Not to mention the menu planning.

At last, it is time for the party…the guests arrive and are suitably awed by our decorations. The food is delicious…everyone raves. Each gift is spot-on perfection. In fact, the party is so stunning, so grand that no one notices what is missing.

The guest of honor has been left outside.

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hear my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and he with Me.

What good news! He doesn’t go home brokenhearted about being left out of His own party. He stands, waits, ready to come in. He even knocks, calling to us, wanting us to experience the fullness of the celebration– the joy only He brings.

Whatever you do the Christmas…tree or no tree…Griswold-style decorations or none at all…40 types of Christmas treats, or 1, or none…gifts, no gifts…keeping tradition, skipping them or making new ones…whatever floats your boat, whatever works for you. But do this one thing: OPEN THE DOOR.

Let Christ in to your Christmas. Let all your doing be motivated by a heart full of praise. Let this be a season of worship. After all, what are we celebrating but our great God and His great Gift of Love to us? The Babe in the manger who became the Savior on the cross and the Father willing to sacrifice, to suffer so much out of love because He wants a relationship with us. Because He wants to come in and dine (fellowship) with us. Sin closed the door, Jesus unlocked it but the last part is up to us.

Just open the door.

Blogiversary

We’ve been musing together for a year here. Thank you for joining me! Here is a look back at the top 5 most-read Musings:

1. Not Everything Lasts

2. 30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years

3. On Being a “Yes” Mom and Lessons Learned

4. Perspective

5. It Begins

Hands & Feet

Today, this brother

Is flying to meet up with this girl (and some other people)

To serve these people

In this country

Together they are being the hands & feet of Christ. In Africa, they are serving…here at home, they are inspiring this kid

Who is attacking lessons in reading & writing so he can study scripture and will be prepared when his time comes to go tell and he is looking for opportunities to go tell right here at home…at 6 years old.

I am humbled and convicted. My eyes are blurred with tears.

The world is full of needs– from the homeless in your neighborhood to orphans in Guatemala to widows in Uganda and so many more! Do you care? Are you praying, giving, going? Are you being the hands & feet of Christ? Are you letting His light shine through your life…not just in big, get-everyone’s-attention kind of ways but in every little choice you make each day?

Are you living your life to make great the name of God or to make great your own name?

When I say “you” I hear the question pointed at myself. What about me…what am I doing? For today, I am praying…for the group in & headed to Uganda…for my son and his burning desire to go tell…for you, as you muse with me on how we can be hands & feet.

Rocking & Winning

– sisters rock. Especially mine. 2 have had babies in the past month and the other completed a 5k mud run. They are awesome friends and support and they tell it like it is. We can converse in movie quotes and disagree without having a falling out. I’m telling ya, they rock.

– my kiddos understand the meaning of the number 24601…that’s a win

– one of my kiddos dubbed a local pond “the lake of shining waters” – also a win!

– a group of men from our church took time out of their busy lives and drove to Georgia this weekend to attend Johnny Hunt’s men’s conference so they could grow and be challenged as men, husbands and fathers. That ROCKS.

– introduced my kids to this secret buddy idea (http://www.jessicalynette.com/12-habits/games-that-encourage-the-habit-of-noticing-others-needs/) and they took action on it, before I even assigned buddies! WIN

– texting and blogging is turning an acquaintanceship into a friendship…even though we live an ocean apart. (ok, technically, its a gulf but its still A LOT OF WATER!) That rocks!

– my baby brother taught my son to tie his shoes. That’s a win!

– my reluctant reader decided to teach a younger sibling to read…the lesson was successful. That’s a rockin’ win!

– long-overdue date with my Hero…great food and conversation. Win!

– and speaking of my Hero…he ROCKS. Just sayin’.

– Jesus has more grace for us than we can handle. That rocks.

– actually, He doesn’t just rock, He *is* the Rock and He has defeated the enemy eternally. That means, because of the ROCK, I WIN.

What’s rocking and winning in your neck of the woods?

Perspective

I’m typing this just before bed and I’m bone tired. Just been one of those weeks. One thing on top of another.

In the past few days, though, I’ve been hit with a fresh dose of perspective. You know, the kind that makes you feel like you got punched in the gut by a semi truck?

And it got me to musing…

– my washing machine broke, I cannot wash clothes…somewhere a mother has nothing to feed her children.

– my baby is not feeling well and is very clingy and fussy…somewhere a set of parents are clinging to each other mourning the loss of their child

– someone treated me rudely…somewhere a young girl has been torn from her family and shipped across the globe to be mistreated, used, and abused

– my husband failed to communicate…somewhere a widow is reeling in shock from her sudden loss

– my kiddos are playing too loud & rowdy and won’t settle down…somewhere a family sits around a hospital bed praying for the best, that their precious one will be well & rowdy again soon

– I’m tired of beginning again, of starting over tomorrow…somewhere, someone just found out that they are all out of “tomorrows”

Suddenly my lot isn’t so bad. My complaints are turned to praises. My discontent & ungratefulness melt away.

When in doubt, check your perspective.

Works for me: The Spouse 4 Gift Formula

Christmas is coming! Are you ready?

I don’t know about you but we try to keep the presents from holding center stage in our celebration.  They are, however, a part of it.

There are all sorts of suggestions on how to give gifts to your children– 3 gifts to represent the Magi’s gifts, 4 gifts (want, need, wear, read), no gifts and donating or giving to others instead– but what I want to know is: what does one give a spouse?!?!?!

I think there are a few people who do well at this, you know, the ones with giving gifts as a love language.

Then there is the rest of us. The ones who said “lets not do gifts” but then, suspicious that the other spouse did rushes to CVS on Christmas Eve to find something…anything.  Or the ones who bust the budget on a completely misguided attempt at what they wanted or needed.

Why is it that the ones we love most and know best are the hardest ones to choose a gift for? Argh!

This year, I am saying “no more!” to my gift giving frustration and I am offering my formula to you in hopes that your gift-giving and Christmas celebration will be more relaxed and enjoyable as a result.

**A few notes: Consider this formula fodder for brainstorming,a place to start.  Each gift can be adjusted to fit your budget (from on-the-cheap to extravagant) and personality (if he doesn’t like to read, ignore the book suggestions…unless he might like an audio version).  Also, as a wife, I wrote this thinking about my husband but I believe the formula would work just as well for husbands to choose gifts for their wives.**

The Spouse 4 Gift Formula –

1) A gift for him as a man. This could be something he needs or wants (like clothes, shoes, a book) or something for his favorite hobby (fishing rod, golf balls & tees, a specialty tool) or something you know he likes (gift card to his favorite restaurant or store) or an item for his collection. This is where you really consider his tastes and interests, things he has mentioned wanting, and how he likes to spend his time.  You could stretch this category to include something he may need for work.

2) A gift for him as a Christian.  It is important to encourage our spouses in their personal walk with Christ, so give a gift that does that. Print out & laminate verse cards for the passage he wants to memorize, a devotional or Bible study book, a new Bible…maybe even arrangements to attend a Men’s Conference.

3) A gift for him as a husband. Plan a special date night or a whole year of dates, find a book you can read & discuss together (so many options here! Could be about marriage or any topic you are both interested in or the latest fiction bestseller or a classic), create some “love coupons” or buy something for you to wear for him…not gonna go any further on this one, I think you get the idea.

4) A gift for him as a father. Plan a family fun day, a gift card or supplies for an activity he can do with the kiddos (model to build, puzzle, bowling, movie…) framed pictures for his desk at work, put together a Hero kit. This is a great time to have the kiddos make or choose a gift!

That’s it.  Now I haven’t told you exactly what to give but hopefully I’ve given you a starting place to think about your man and ways that you can bless him in each area of his life.  I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas! Don’t forget to came back after Dec 25th and let me know what you gave. 🙂

A Journey of Thankfulness – wrapping it up

I am thankful that I took this journey.  I did not plan out in advance what I would write about, I expressed thankfulness for whatever came to mind each day. At one point I wished that I had not even started…I was feeling more grumpy than grateful. I wondered if anyone would notice if I quit. Then I remembered why I started this– to purposely focus on the things I have to be grateful for.  It is not about showing off how grateful I am, it is about learning to be thankful as a daily habit. That is why it is called a journey.

And I’m thankful that I took it.

I am so blessed.

 

A Journey of Thankfulness – day 21

I am thankful that NANA IS HOME!!!! (not nearly as thankful as she is though 🙂 )

She still has a cast on her left arm but, for the most part, she is back to normal.  Thank you all so much for your prayers!

We love our Nana and are really glad to have her home!

A Journey of Thankfulness – day 20

I am thankful for Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, Richard & Henry Blackaby and Kelly Minter — the Bible studies they have written challenge me to be in the Word and deepen my faith. I’m also thankful for Kay and Jen and my Mom, who have all lead me and others through these studies.

When I don’t have focus I flounder, I meander through the scriptures with no purpose or goal. Now, don’t get me wrong, the Holy Spirit can speak even when I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s just that going through a study makes me focus and makes me dig deeper. And digging deeper is what I need…I don’t want just the icing, give me the whole cake! 🙂

Being involved in a study (whether I’m on my own or meeting with a weekly group) keeps me challenged and consistent, which benefits my spiritual walk, which benefits my whole life.

I am so blessed.

A Journey of Thankfulness – catching up…

I. AM. SO. BEHIND! It’s not even funny. I have been thinking about what I’m thankful for each day even if I haven’t managed to get it typed out and posted. I promise.

With that in mind…

I am grateful for grace.

The word seems to get tossed around a lot. We ‘say grace,’ some of us have grace (while the rest of us trip over our own feet), we may even talk about someone who has fallen from grace. But grace is so much more! Grace is a gift…an undeserved, unearned gift. I am so thankful for God’s grace, ’cause you know what? I screw up every. single. day. I start out with good intentions. I try really hard. Then I slip, or trip, and sometimes I seriously step in it. And His grace covers it. I’m forgiven. I get to start over. Try again.

Now, grace is not a license to do whatever I want and behave abominably because “it’s already forgiven” and I’m covered by grace. Make no mistake, that is not the point. Grace is God’s recognition that even at our best we are not good enough and grace fills the gaps.

God isn’t the only one from whom I receive grace. My Hero and kiddos are pretty good at it too.

Day 14 –

I’m grateful for good days.

Good days are not perfect days, they are just the days were the mistakes and the bad stuff doesn’t overshadow the good stuff. Days where a spirit of peace prevails even if nothing goes according to plan. Things have been a little nuts around here for a while…like maybe the last few weeks…or years. I get so frustrated some times with not only not ‘getting it all done’ but not even getting the basics done, doing just enough to keep us alive and maybe not doing that very well. Thanks to a lot of grace (see above) and tidbits of wisdom gleaned here and there, we are getting back to an even keel…maybe. This week we (the kiddos agree with me) had a Marvelous Monday, a Terrific Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a Thrilling Thursday, and Friday is shaping up to be pretty Fabulous. It hasn’t been perfect. There have been some downright horrible moments but they have been overshadowed by the good things, the sweet moments, the things that went according to plan, the fun things…

Day 15 –

I am thankful for scripture.

It is Truth and Life to me. I am constantly in awe that I hold in my hand God-breathed words, words that are as relevant now as when they were first penned. The scriptures are full of promises to which I cling, they are my daily bread. Although I don’t always stop to partake. There are times when life gets rushed and time for Bible study is skipped. It does not take a full day to feel the affects…it is as if a part of me is starving inside and soon every part of me, my attitude, reactions, concern for anyone other than myself, starts to shrivel from the lack of nourishment. But, oh, when each day begins with His Word, what a change. It is not a magic formula for good days– a chapter a day keeps the bad days at bay– rather it is like vitamin C, strengthening my immune system to handle whatever ‘germs’ the day may bring.

Because of scripture, I believe in grace (see above) I have hope (see Day 7) and I have a future (see John 3:16)

Day 16 –

I am grateful for albuterol.

If you have never experienced an asthma attack, you may not understand. Albuterol = the ability to breathe! As a kid I dealt with asthma regularly. It was scary. I am very grateful that, as an adult, I have outgrown most of my symptoms. Every now and then, however, I run into a perfect storm of my triggers and my lungs seemingly cease to function. I haven’t had any severe problems in a really long time but I am still grateful that relief– and oxygen!– is as close as my inhaler.

Day 17 –

I am thankful for Home Education.

I was “home teached” as we used to say, (much to the chagrin of my mother!) and I feel it was truly a blessing on my life. My relationship with my parents and siblings because we lived, learned, and worked alongside each other. My relationship with Christ has been strengthened because my parents put Deuteronomy 6:7 to practice. I am firmly convinced that there are certain tendencies in myself that would have put me in a bad crowd, had I had the opportunity. The direction oft life could have been totally different but because of home education my life was saved (perhaps literally) and there is a whole boatload of baggage I don’t have to carry around.

Now I am home educating my own children. What an adventure! Not only do I get to see them learn each new thing, I get to be the one helping them! I get to spend every day with my kiddos all day. (yes, I need & want breaks sometimes and I do get them…there is another thing to be thankful for!) It doesn’t always go according to plan and it isn’t always pretty but I wouldn’t trade this for anything!

Day 18 –
I am thankful for date night.

Seriously. If you and your spouse don’t date each other YOU SHOULD! Life is busy and difficult, Satan will do anything to build a wall between spouses. Miscommunication and a lack of time invested in each other gives him a toehold.  It doesn’t matter if the budget doesn’t allow for a babysitter and dinner out…so put the kiddos to bed a little early, make some hot chocolate, and go over your agenda for this business meeting stare lovingly into your beloved’s eyes. The point is, you have to be intentional, you have to make it happen. (talking to myself here) Anyways, we aren’t as good about making date night happen as often as it should but when we do go out we are both blessed by it.

Day 19 –

I am thankful that even if satan stomps all over you on one day, you still get to begin again the next day.  He got me yesterday but, by God’s grace, today is not his (satan’s) day. (go back to the beginning and read about grace! Don’t you love how it all circles back around to grace?)