I am working on finishing up my last week of homework from the study of Nehemiah. Yes, The study is technically over, we have met together for the last time, but I didn’t get it done and I don’t want to miss any of the truth God has to speak to me from this book. So here I am.
This morning, phrase after phrase is speaking to my soul. Lifting me. Singing to me.
- “take this work of raising a family as a serious calling and be faithful in that”
- “Satan likes to use our busy lives and our busy minds to help us forget what we’re to be focusing on. I pray my mind stays focused on what the Lord has put before me to do.”
- In the book of Nehemiah, there is a “sense of community even in adversity, and the building for tomorrow”
- “I…am learning to see through the enemies’ schemes to pull us away from our God given work.”
- “We may not always feel like it. We may arrive weary, afraid, or discouraged. Warren Wiersbe said it best, ‘ Never underestimate the importance of simply being physically present in the place where God wants you.’ Sometimes obedience simply means showing up.”
I needed these words today. After all my years of walking with Christ, I am still amazed sometimes at how he speaks directly to my need at exactly the moment I need it. I serve an awesome Saviour. He hears me, He sees me, He loves me, He speaks to me, and He takes action on my behalf.
Last night I began writting a post titled “A Plea for Help.” You see, I feel overwhelmed. More accurately, I feel like a person with multiple personalities swirling around in her head, all competing for domanice and struggling for balance. I am Heidi, Heidi the wife, Heidi the mom, Heidi the housekeeper, Heidi the cook, Heidi the teacher, Heidi writer…and on and on. If Heidi the housekeeper gains control, my house looks fabulous but my children suffer because Heidi the mom is no where to be found. If Heidi the mom rules the day it is awesome…but eventually the house is so disgusting I don’t want to live here anymore!
I know that the idea of “getting it all done” is a farce. No one gets it all done…even if they look like they do. But where is balance? I believe with all my heart that loving and teaching my children is one of my top priorities but if housework falls onto the “not to do” list permanetly, how can we live in that mess? If my relationship with Christ is top priority, does it trump preparing meals for my family?
Meanwhile the ongoing mental arguments make me weary. The cacophany of voices screaming about what I should do, need to do, and want to do, drowns out everything else. The struggle for balance is not successful, just ongoing. I want to quit it all. Run away. Hide.
Then He speaks.
The voice that calmed the sea speaks peace over my soul. The voices stop screeching, if only for a moment or two.
“Peace, be still”
Maybe, for today, I don’t need balance. Maybe, for today, I just need to be still. To be present in the place where God wants me. To recount His faithfulness aloud. To remember how it is His hand that has lead me to this point. To stand in the conviction that it is in Him, by Him, through Him, and for Him that I will continue on.